Document: draft-ietf-mip4-generic-notification-message-09.txt Reviewer: Sean Turner Review Date: 2009-09-07 IETF LC End Date: 2009-09-08 IESG Telechat date: N/A Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that should be fixed before publication. I have to admit that following along in section 4.3.*, 4.4.*, and 4.5.* is a little tough for somebody who is not steeped in the mip4 WG. I don't think it is avoidable, but I am leaning somewhat on the WG/authors to ensure it all hangs together (it is the -09 version after all). 4: The follow sentence is awkward: "The MN and HA MUST maintain the following information, the FA also need maintain both HA's and MN's direction the below information:". Should it be "FA also needs to maintain both the HA's ...? 4.1 and 4.2: I assume the "Type (TBD)" will be assigned by IANA, but should there be an RFC Editor's note added to indicate as much? 4.5.4: r/by The MN-FA/by the MN-FA 5: r/. for/. For 5: r/mechanism also./mechanism. 5: The last sentence before the list has 3 values, but the sentence says theres are four values reserved. Is it 3 or 4? 7: OLD: The author appreciate the efforts of Ahmad Muhanna in detail reviewing of this document, lots of text have been contributed by his suggestions. The author thank the discussion from Kent Leung, Peng Yang and Peter McCann et al. in the development of this document. NEW: The authors appreciate the efforts of Ahmad Muhanna for his detailed review of this document and his many contributions to the text of this document. The authors also want to thank Kent Leung, Peng Yang, and Peter McCann et al. for their help developing this document. 8: r:/It require that this message/It requires that these messages ? There are two messages defined correct? 8.1: r/This document require/This document requires 8.1: r/two peer node/two peer nodes There are a number of places where ". if" should be replaced by ". If" and ". if" should be replaced by ". If". So this might be considered nit picking, but normally when I start a sentence of with "If ....," right after the comma there's a "then ...."